I came across this picture.
My first reaction was to nod along. Then I thought about it a bit longer and realized I’m close to the opposite. The happiest years I’ve had were the years I was learning the most, the fastest.
The dial-up years
When I was a kid, we had a computer at home with a Celeron processor and a big, boxy CRT monitor, and we got online by dial-up.
The internet was just taking off, and it felt like a door had swung open onto a whole new world. Everything online was free. Pirated stuff was everywhere. Pretty much any game, movie or TV show I wanted, I could download.
For me personally, it was also when my picture of the world exploded. I was finding out something new almost every day, and the world kept getting bigger. And all of that landed right in the middle of my teenage years.
Looking back, those were the happiest years of my life so far.
After that, things got less fun.
What happened after
I honestly can’t say exactly why.
Maybe the novelty wore off. The internet went from “everything’s here” to “too much of everything,” from a door to something closer to running water.
Or maybe it had little to do with the internet, and I just stopped being a teenager. School, then work, more to worry about every year, and curiosity got squeezed into a corner by getting things done. In Rediscovering Curiosity I wrote that I went about a decade without it.
So, back to Snoopy. What I miss isn’t the time before I knew too much. It’s the years when I was finding out, when the world kept opening and nothing had settled into “that’s just how it is” yet.
Then AI happened
These past couple of years, AI has given me that feeling back.
It feels like my mind got let out again. Things that used to sit behind a pile of prerequisites, I can now just ask about. If I get an idea, I can build something that evening and see. There’s suddenly so much more I can learn, and the joy of it feels a lot like the first time I realized the internet had everything.
But I can’t help wondering. Last time, after the explosion, I got less happy. Will this one go the same way?
A pessimistic optimist
I’m a pessimistic optimist.
The pessimist in me says: probably. Novelty always wears off. AI will become running water too, and there’ll be new things to worry about.
The optimist in me says that’s fine.
Those years really were happy, and the fact that it faded doesn’t undo that.
In September I quoted a line that stuck with me: “You can’t have youth and an understanding of it at the same time.” As a teenager I had no idea I was in the good part. This time I know while it’s happening, so I can pay attention.
And last time, part of the fading was on me. I let the curiosity go. That part I can do something about.
I should also admit my filter has gotten thicker with age. How slow dial-up was, how easily it dropped: I hardly think about any of that now. Memory touches those years up on its own. Part of why Snoopy’s line hits so hard is probably that same filter.
Looking back to move forward
That said, I’m not someone who sits around missing the past.
When I look back at those years, I’m mostly looking for clues. What actually made me that happy? The answer seems pretty clear. The world was opening up, and I was trying to see as much of it as I could. The Celeron and the CRT had little to do with it.
Which makes this round easier. I don’t need to wait until these become “those years” to appreciate them. While it’s still happening, I want to learn more, try more, and build more. And when the novelty does wear off, I’d like to keep the curiosity anyway.
If Charlie Brown ever asks me what I miss, I hope I can say the years when AI first showed up, and that I didn’t waste them.
Anyway. Back to tinkering.
看到这么一张图。
查理·布朗问：“你怀念什么？”史努比说：“怀念我知道太多之前，看世界的样子。”
我第一反应是跟着点头。可多想了一会儿，发现自己好像正好反过来：我最快乐的那几年，恰恰是知道新东西最多、最快的时候。
拨号上网那几年
小时候家里有一台电脑，赛扬处理器，接着一台大屁股 CRT 显示器，上网靠拨号。
那时候互联网刚爆发，感觉一下子推开了一扇门，门后面是一整个新世界。网上什么都是免费的，盗版资源满天飞，想玩什么游戏，想看什么电影、电视剧，基本都能下到。
对我自己来说，那几年也是认知大爆发的时候。几乎每天都在知道新东西，世界一下子变大了好多倍。刚好又赶上青春期，两件事撞到了一起。
现在回头看，那是我最快乐的一段日子。
可那之后，反而没那么快乐了。
后来怎么了
为什么，我也说不太清。
可能是新鲜劲过去了。互联网从“什么都有”，慢慢变成了“什么都太多”，从一扇门，变成了跟水电煤差不多的东西。
也可能跟互联网没什么关系，就是青春期结束了。上学、工作，要操心的事一年比一年多，好奇心慢慢被效率挤到了角落。三月那篇《重拾好奇心》里写过，这股劲我丢了差不多十年。
所以回到史努比那句话，我怀念的其实不是“知道太多之前”，是“正在知道”的那几年：世界一直在打开，每天都有新东西，还没来得及变成理所当然。
AI 又来了一次
这两年 AI 爆发，我又找回了那种感觉。
认知像是又被解放了一次。以前隔着一堆门槛的东西，现在直接问就行；想到一个点子，当晚就能做出来看看。能了解的东西一下子多了好多。那种快乐，跟当年第一次发现网上什么都有的时候，真的很像。
可我也忍不住会想：上一次认知爆发之后，我没那么快乐了。这一次，会不会也一样？
悲观的乐观主义者
我算是个悲观的乐观主义者。
悲观的那一半说：大概率会的。新鲜劲总会过去，AI 早晚也会变成水电煤，到时候又会有新的烦恼。
乐观的那一半说：那也没关系。
那几年的快乐是真的。后来淡了，也不会让它变得不算数。
九月那篇《还年轻，也懂一点了》里引过一句话：人无法同时拥有青春和对青春的感悟。十几岁的时候，我可不知道自己正处在最好的那一段。这一次不一样，我知道它正在发生，所以会多看两眼。
还有，上一次淡下去，有一部分是我自己让好奇心淡了。这一部分，这次我能管。
也得老实说，年纪大了，回头看的滤镜也厚了。拨号有多慢、多容易断线，我现在都很少想起来。记忆会自己把那几年修得很好看。史努比那句话这么戳人，大概也有这层滤镜的功劳吧。
回头看，是为了往前走
不过我不是那种停在原地、光顾着怀旧的人。
回头看那几年，对我来说更像是在找线索：当时到底是什么让我那么开心？答案好像挺清楚的：世界在打开，我在拼命往里看。跟用的是赛扬还是 CRT，关系不大。
那这一次就好办了。不用等它变成“那几年”，再回头怀念。趁它还在发生，多学一点，多试一点，多做点东西出来。等新鲜劲真过去了，也别让好奇心跟着一起走。
要是哪天查理·布朗也来问我怀念什么，我希望那时候能说：怀念 AI 刚来的那几年，而且那几年我没浪费。
行了，我接着折腾去了。
Comments留言